Do NOT, under any circumstances...
- Go to the ATM only during daylight hours. Why else would they be open 24/7? There's no line at 2AM.
- Lock your bike. Seriously, you'll only be in the store for a minute or two.
- Call a cab to get home. The driver needs his sleep and you will save the BZ$5 taxi fare for another beer.
- Keep your purse strap over your shoulder with your purse under your arm. I mean, how else will we know it's a Gucci?
- Carry a small purse of essentials. A big bag is a statement that's says you're successful person.
- Pay attention to people around you. Situational awareness is distracting from your goal to relax and enjoy the environment.
- Scream, shout, and wave your hands around when someone approaches you in a threatening manner. You might scare them off to pick on someone else.
- Keep your schedule and movements to yourself. Let everyone know so they can keep an eye on your place while you're gone.
- Walk the back streets with friends. You need your quiet time.
- Carry too little cash. Here, you have to be ready to buy anything at a moment's notice as it might not be in the stores tomorrow.
- Carry cash in multiple pockets. It's so much easier to break out a big wad and peel $100 bill off the top.
- Carry your laptop in a plain shopping bag. Come on people, computer bags were invented for a purpose.
- Keep your flashy, heirloom jewelry at home. Like pearls, they are meant to be worn and need to see the sun too.
- Hide your wealth. You worked hard for all you've accumulated and showing is part of the pleasure of having.
- Put burglar bars on your windows. There are no wild animals trying to get in.
- Have a dog. Cats are so much better against geckos and mice. They also eat less.
- Turn on the outside lights at night. After all, you're inside and the cat is too.
- Keep a flashlight handy. Just turn on all the lights to see.
- Use a high-pitched personal alarm. They are noisy. Your neighbor's sleep will be interrupted and you'll upset the cat.
- Turn off the inside lights while you're investigating a noise outside. You might run into a chair, stub your toe, or trip over the cat.
- Keep a phone by your bed at night. It will only wake you up at inconvenient hours and give the cat something to play with.
- Keep self-defense weapons around the house. They might be used against the cat.
And above all. do not curb your drinking. You are, after all, living in the land of sun and rum. Enjoy!
Just as the lion culls the slowest and weakest from the herd, the rest of us need some easy targets out there to keep the bad guys busy and sated. By following the above guidelines, you'll be an easy target helping your fellow man avoid being the next victim. Good on ya, mate!